How Do You Explain Mental Health To Your Child?
Appropriately understanding mental health plays a significant role in emotional and psychological development for kids and teens, influencing how they handle stress, relate to others, and approach challenges. Properly explaining mental health can help children and teens to feel more comfortable asking questions and sharing their thoughts.
Initiating open conversations about mental health early on can help your child and teen understand and manage their emotions more effectively and independently. It can prepare them to seek help when needed, as well as reduce the stigma and confusion often associated with these topics.
This article aims to guide you through effective methods for discussing mental health with your child, offering practical tips to ensure that the conversations are both age-appropriate and supportive.
General Tips
1. Using Clear and Simple Language
To communicate effectively with your child about mental health, use clear and accessible language.
Avoid jargon and technical terms that may be confusing. Instead, use everyday words that your child can understand. For instance, explain anxiety as feeling "worried or scared about something that might happen" rather than using clinical terms.
Incorporating analogies can also make abstract concepts more relatable. You might compare mental health to physical health by explaining that just as they need to take care of their bodies by eating healthy and exercising, they also need to take care of their minds. For younger children, you could use simple stories or cartoons that illustrate characters experiencing and overcoming various feelings. For older children and teens, share personal examples of stress, worry, or sadness, and then how you worked through it. Offer examples that come to mind in daily life, for big and small stressors, to model talking about feelings and coping strategies. You do not need to wait for something big to happen to talk about mental health or stress.
Storytelling is a powerful tool in making mental health concepts more tangible. Share age-appropriate stories about characters who face emotional challenges and learn how to handle them. This not only helps children understand mental health better but also makes the topic less intimidating and more approachable.
2. Encouraging Open Communication
Creating a safe environment for discussing mental health fosters open and honest conversations with your child. Start by setting a tone of acceptance and support. Let your child know that it’s okay to talk about their feelings and that they won't be judged.
This approach helps in making them feel more comfortable and willing to share their thoughts without worrying about facing criticism. By establishing a space where they feel secure, you invite them to engage in meaningful dialogue about their mental well-being.
Active listening plays a central role in these conversations. Show genuine empathy and validate their feelings by acknowledging everything they share. For example, if your child expresses worry about a school event, let them know that it's very normal to feel anxious and that you understand their concerns. Allow your child space to talk without jumping in to direct the conversation.
Try to ask open-ended questions instead of yes-no questions so you can prompt them to fully articulate their thoughts. This shows that you are attentive and also helps them process their feelings more thoroughly.
3. Addressing Common Questions and Concerns
Your child might not know how to ask about mental health or express exactly what they’re feeling, but they may recognize that something feels new or uncomfortable. As a parent, it's important to validate their feelings, let them know what they are experiencing is legitimate. Reassure them that their emotions are worthy of attention.
Instead of waiting for them to ask specific questions, take the lead by explaining that feeling sad, worried, or confused is a normal part of life. You can say, “I’ve noticed you seem upset lately. It’s okay to feel that way, and we can talk about it whenever you’re ready.” This proactive approach helps them understand that their feelings are valid and opens the door to further conversations.
Encourage a positive and accepting attitude towards mental health by framing it as a normal and healthy aspect of overall well-being and that we stay healthy by talking about it and using effective management strategies.. By promoting this perspective, you help prevent the reinforcement of harmful stereotypes and support a healthier outlook.
4. Getting Professional Support
In some cases, professional support might be beneficial. If you find that your child needs more assistance in understanding or managing their emotions, consider consulting our mental health professionals at Milestones Psychology.
Our therapists and counselors can offer expert guidance and tailored strategies to help your child manage their feelings plus cope with challenges effectively. Our evidence-based, specialized therapy services are available for both the child and their families.
We generally provide therapy for children in weekly individual sessions, adjusting the frequency to more and less intensive as appropriate. Our Milestones clinicians also prioritize involving parents in the process, often arranging separate or joint sessions to hear from parents, discuss therapy goals, and help integrate the skills learned into everyday routines.
In addition, we frequently collaborate with teachers, schools, and other professionals. We are also able to share our observations and therapeutic objectives with those involved in the child’s daily life. Reach out to us today if you or your child needs support - we are here for you.
How To Start the Conversation About Mental Health
Starting a conversation about mental health with your child may seem daunting, but the key is to approach it naturally and proactively. Below are steps to help you handle this conversation:
1. Pick a Comfortable Moment
Don’t wait for a formal sit-down. Use a moment when your child seems relaxed—like during a car ride, after dinner, or while doing a shared activity—to gently bring up the topic.
Example: On a drive home from school, when you are already together, you could say, "I've noticed you've seemed a little down lately after school. Want to talk about what's been going on?"
2. Use Relatable Language
Compare mental health to physical health. Let your child know that, just like their body can get hurt, their brain can sometimes feel unbalanced.
Example: "You know how when you get a cold, your body needs rest to get better? Sometimes, our brain needs to use strategies to feel better, too. That’s what taking care of your mental health is."
3. Share Your Own Experiences (When Appropriate)
Sharing a relevant personal story or mentioning that others also experience difficult emotions can make your child feel less isolated.
Example: "There are times when I feel really overwhelmed too, and talking to someone always helps me feel better."
4. Ask Open-Ended Questions
Encourage your child to talk about their feelings without guiding their answers. This normalizes discussion around mental health and helps them open up and feel in control of the conversation.
Example: "What kinds of things have been making you feel stressed or upset lately?"
5. Validate Their Feelings
It’s important to acknowledge and validate their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, anxious, or confused.
Example: "It’s totally okay to feel nervous about your test or going to that birthday party. A lot of people feel the same way, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you."
6. Offer Solutions and Support
After discussing their emotions, gently guide them towards solutions, whether it’s breathing exercises, journaling, or even talking to a counselor. Make sure they know they’re not alone in dealing with their feelings.
Example: "When I feel overwhelmed, I find it helps to take deep breaths or talk it out with someone."
Tips by Age
Mental Health is Like Physical Health
Your child’s developmental age will impact their ability to grasp the concept of mental health, and should therefore be taken into consideration when broaching the topic with them.
A strong foundational way to approach mental health at any age is to compare it to their physical health. Just as we need to care for our bodies by eating nutritious foods, getting rest, and staying active, we also need to take care of our brains.
Understanding Your Child’s Developmental Stage: Young Children
For young children in early childhood, aged 3 to 7, focus on simple and concrete explanations. They may not understand abstract ideas, so use basic language and examples from their daily lives. You can explain that the brain works as the body’s control center. When it's "off balance," it can affect how they feel, think, and behave.
Similarly, if they know that a stomach ache signals something is wrong with their digestion, they can begin to understand that feeling sad or anxious is like a ‘brain ache’ and may indicate something is happening with their mental health.
A real-life example of this might be if they seem upset after a playdate, asking, “Did something happen that made you feel sad or mad?” You can also explain feelings like “happy” or “worried” by using examples such as getting excited about a birthday party or feeling scared during a thunderstorm.
School-Aged Children
For school-aged children, between 8 and 12, you can start introducing more complex emotions and discussing their impact on behavior. At this stage, children are likely dealing with academic pressure and becoming more explicitly aware of social dynamics at school.
Discussing topics like stress, anxiety, or changes in friendships may be particularly applicable for this age group. You might ask, “Have you ever felt really nervous before a test or at recess? What do you think made you feel that way?” This question prompts them to identify both academic and social anxiety, as well as the potential causes of these emotions.
Teenagers
Teenagers, aged 13 to 18, are developing deeper emotional awareness and can engage in more nuanced discussions about mental health. They also experience a broader, deeper range of emotions and stressors, and it is important to address these with sensitivity.
It's also important to pay attention to any noticeable changes in behavior, such as withdrawing from activities they usually enjoy, sudden outbursts, difficulty concentrating, or getting overwhelmed. These changes could be signs of stress, anxiety, depression, or other related, underlying concerns.
Asking open-ended questions like, "I've noticed you're not as excited about soccer lately—can you tell me why?" shows them that you notice and care and that this is worth discussing, while appropriately prompting them to share more and structure the conversation; it acknowledges their growing independence and complex feelings. Recognizing these shifts and discussing them early can lead to more meaningful conversations and provide support when they need it most.
